Toya does a fashion shoot spread and discusses super star label head @Memphitz
Ahh, good morning. I hope everyone’s enjoying the long All-Star/Boo-Lovin Observance weekend. I partake in the All-Star portion of this but ya know, love’s in the air no matter what day it is.
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
Kristen V. Carter is a BET producer and screenwriter. She is also owner of Jazzi Dreamer Entertainment. Kristen can be reached directly via Twitter. Please engage with her and follow her to learn inside game of film, tv, and music.
Ahh, good morning. I hope everyone’s enjoying the long All-Star/Boo-Lovin Observance weekend. I partake in the All-Star portion of this but ya know, love’s in the air no matter what day it is. Last night I watched Love Jones for the 8723rd time in my life, even though it felt like the first. It’s funny how certain messages hit home although you’ve been surrounded by them forever…you don’t really catch the truth in anything until you’re truly ready for it.
So this morning, I journaled to myself for the first time in a few weeks. I write for various reasons everyday but I finally allowed that quiet time to be completely free-flowing and nonjudgemental of my thoughts. ‘Self’ has been whispering that I needed to shut up & write, because I recently unleashed my ego and allowed her to run her mouth like wildfire & show her ugly lil’ head! I haven’t done that in quite a while so it was definitely time to regroup and process my greatness of spirit versus my weakness of flesh. It’s funny how I let go of my strength at what felt like a weak moment where I was unsure of myself. (That’s backwards I know. Why do we do that to ourselves?)
My overall goal this year is to be more intuitive and decisive, yet I’ve done a poor job of staying aligned with this goal recently. It’s easy to say, do, and act our best when we feel at our best personally & professionally but when we question ourselves, sometimes the bottom falls out OR we pull it from under our own feet and blame other things. Sometimes we cry over spilled milk when it’s been sour and should have been mopped up already. At this point, all I can think about is the quintessential phrase ‘keep it movin son’ but what happens when you just don’t wanna move? You get stuck in a rut (probably all by your damn self lol)…so I have to refocus and realize – I’m just living out my lessons.
I am at my greatest with my pen. I feel love & connection in that. I feel the boundlessness of who I am and who I was created to be. I feel the ‘heart to heart’ connection that I sometimes wish I felt in ‘face to face’ interaction. This is the place I call home.
So why do I allow myself to feel like a stranger at times? Because in my attempt to be ‘right,’ I lose my righteousness. In my attempt to prove my point, I step away from things that deserve my greatest energy & focus. It’s funny how when I experience discord, I can feel the physical & spiritual split. (I’ve actually always sensed this, but never quite in these terms.) The part of me that’s offended versus the part of me that’s merely observing life and taking notes. The part of me that harbors fears of lonliness versus the part of me that knows I’m never alone…ever.
So it’s a new year again. My goal is for two to remain one. When I’m feeling all razzle dazzle frazzled, I must take it to the Source as opposed to fighting my own fears. And even after I press Send and go about my business for the day, I’ll have to come back to this quiet place and remind myself that I don’t ever have to do this thing called life on my own if I just listen…
…now that’s love.
Kristen V. Carter
And damn it, the Grammys are about to come on!” I asked him, “Sooooo (yes that many O’s)…What’s up?” and he answered, “Ain’t Ish.” Now if you know me, you know that I HATE to hear things like this. My ears tingle and I start to twitch. He remained quiet afterwards and so I followed that up with, “Um, ok.
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
Celebrity Guest Blog post by BET producer Kristen V. Carter of Jazzi Dreamer Entertainment. You can reach Kristen Carter via Twitter.
On Sunday night, an old elementary school friend stopped by my house. When he entered my living room and plopped down on my couch, he didn’t really say much. I thought, “Great, someone that came over just to be over here. And damn it, the Grammys are about to come on!” I asked him, “Sooooo (yes that many O’s)…What’s up?” and he answered, “Ain’t Ish.” Now if you know me, you know that I HATE to hear things like this. My ears tingle and I start to twitch. He remained quiet afterwards and so I followed that up with, “Um, ok.
You seem kinda low energy, what’s going on?” Initially, I was pretty annoyed that someone would come over and bring their low energy with them but then I had to settle down my initial thoughts and just listen. He responded honestly, expressing his confusion about life and where to take his next step. Now, he is and always seemed very book smart. All of my friends are intelligent, but I spend alot of time thinking about my male friends from my childhood because alot of them seem to feel how this one expressed. They don’t know up from down, they don’t know what they wanna do, and they haven’t even pinned down what they LIKE to do. They gasp at the word “hobby.” They don’t even understand the concept. And unfortunately, in this world, this kind of epidemic is not accidental. Our young people are supposed to feel trapped and helpless and I CAN’T STAND IT!
I don’t even wanna get into where we went wrong cause then I’d be writing a thesis, but how can we get a hold to our young people? How can we help them navigate in this world?!?
More and more each day, I realize how different I am. I can’t even fully grasp just how set apart I am but my mother had a vision and did everything in her power to make sure I absorbed what I needed to succeed – and not just cope – with life. And I don’t mean that in a boastful way, but I mean that in a reflective way. Alot of adults had alot to say about my mother while I was growing up, and alot of peers had plenty to say about me being uncool and this and that. But, whoa nelly – how the tides turn, how priorities change, and how reality sets in!!!
We have to think about tomorrow and our futures. We can’t always live for the moment, the cheap thrill. We have to protect our minds and bodies from filth because you never know who’s trying to attach themselves to you. And it’s not always positive. We have to prepare our kids. It’s not cute to just be cute in high school. THAT MEANS NOTHING IN THE REAL WORLD! Who cares what clique you’re in and which girl/guy you are talking to? Or what clothes you have on? Our kids are so caught up in these images, they think things just fly out of the sky…What are our children being taught? What happened to the village? I know that you all are an extension of my village – and I’m so grateful for that! – but who’s reeling in our young people? When did the concept of neighbor become stranger? Did that happen in the 80s or the 90s cause I’m confused.
Success is never by accident. It takes preparation. We want Obama to make change, but we’ve gotta help ourselves as well. I don’t know folks…it’s a sad state of affairs but hopefully you and I can be a part of the positive turn in the lives of young people. Hopefully we can take someone by the hand and help at least one person. And I’m saying this I’m like old…lol…I know I still have alot to learn and experience in life as well, but I just hope that we can mobilize our village cause we’re here. We’re strong people. We’re positive people, maybe in small clusters but we’re here. I’d love to discuss/plan how we can make more of an impact in our community.
Actually if you know me well, you’d know my obsession isn’t all that random. I met 50 Cent eight years ago when I interned at BET. He was previewing the video for ‘In Da Club,’ his New Joint of the Day before 106 & Park.
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
Guest Post by Kristen V. Carter of JazziDreamer Entertainment
Random KVC fact: I absolutely love 50 Cent.
There’s something endearing about him. Under all that aggression lies a warm, fuzzy bear. I’m convinced.
Actually if you know me well, you’d know my obsession isn’t all that random. I met 50 Cent eight years ago when I interned at BET. He was previewing the video for ‘In Da Club,’ his New Joint of the Day before 106 & Park. He hadn’t seen the video yet so naturally, he was excited. I was seated behind him, snickering at his giddiness until he turned around and smiled at me. He thought I was just as thrilled to see the video and suddenly, I was. The moment his eyes met mine, I stopped and celebrated with him. I caught myself saying, ‘Awww, congratulations.’ At the end of the day, his car passed me as I walked to the train station. He rolled down his window and waved at me. I was shocked he bothered to remember, let alone acknowledge me, and I waved goodnight. He gained a fan that day…accidentally on purpose.
Fast forward eight years later and I own all of 50 Cent’s albums, his photo book ’50 X 50′ and I’ve worked on a 50 Cent project. I’m fascinated by his mystique so I decided to also pick up his book ‘The 50th Law,’ which is co-written by Robert Greene, the author of ‘The 48 Laws of Power.’ The book is right up my alley – an examination of the way we process, analyze, and move through life.
The 50th Law is essentially ‘fear nothing.’ Greene breaks down 50′s experiences and how he was able to move past the negative emotion of fear. Although many of the principles resonate with me, I am shocked that 50 did not even attempt to tackle the #1 downfall of them all – heartbreak (& the aftermath of picking up the pieces without fearing another bout of abandonment). I yelled about that as I read through each section. ‘Uh huh, you’re not going there. I know you’re not touching love. Uh huh, next chapter.’ Yes, he discusses how to properly position yourself in leadership roles amongst groups of people but he doesn’t address one-on-one interaction directly at all…
50 has always presented himself as this unpenetrable monster, someone who shoots before you even get a chance to load your gun. He shields himself from all (love and) harm by isolating himself. Isolating himself and basking in the glory of money, power…and solitude. There is a difference between being along & lonely, but I doubt he really enjoys either one. Through the pain of losing his parents and false friends, he’s learned to accept isolation because it’s not beneficial to open your heart up, only for it to get stomped on. I feel you, 50. I do…but I can’t live like that. I wanna see you with a woman. I wanna see your soft strength. It’s only fair. 50, we all need love and cash can’t hug you back. But I know you know this, and acknowledge this in your journal if not your book.
He says, “Understand: the real secret, the real formula for power in this world, lies in accepting the ugly reality that learning requires a process, and this in turn demands patience and the ability to endure drudge work.” Since 50 refuses to touch on matters of the heart, I will. In my own life, I must accept that intimate relationships demand patience and the ability to endure the trials and tribulations that come with it. That means not giving up ‘the goal’ when you’ve ‘failed.’ That means taking experiences we’d label as good or bad, and make them neutral. They have shown up in our lives to catapult us to the next level, whether we realize it or not. Everyone has an agenda, and you must be clear about your own without losing yourself in trying to win or lose. What is winning or losing anyway? Sometimes things are removed so that you can make room for the real victory. In my life, I must remain in balance – understanding that at any moment, things could change for what appears to be the better or the worse. But in actuality, it’s all for the greatness so I vow to experience fully but not dependently. My joys, my growths, my triumphs are not dependent on someone else’s moves. However affected, I will never move fearfully.
I watch 50 Cent’s new video ‘Do You Think About Me’ at least once a day. Besides the fact that I love the song, there’s a level of unapologetic honesty (ahem, crazy) that’s going on in the clip. Vivica A. Fox is a hot mess; We’ve all seen her crying and talking about 50 in real life so to see her play the role of the crazy ex slashing tires is not beneath her reality. Because of this, I sometimes wish she’d shut up and go cry in bed. You’re the female representative, don’t let em see you sweat!!! I hate that she’s letting it known how hurt she was/is and I especially hate that she has no strategy. But then, I realize damn, she’s (wide) open to love…
Damn it, Vivica. Matters of the heart are never cut and dry. Watch the last :30 of the video…there’s something in the pain of her remembering the good times, the excitement of getting revenge on 50, the regret of acting radically, and finally the vulnerability of just wanting him…aaaah, emotions will get you every time…no wonder she’s a hot mess! Sheesh, maybe 50′s got a point. Why put your hand on the fire when you know it’s gonna burn?! Why go down a dead-end block? The real fight is not the love itself, but the fear of going down that road (alone)…No matter what happens, love is stronger than fear if you allow it to flow…take a chance…who’s gonna be the representative? 
What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
With sadness, I report this crazy news. Maureen Allaben, a 43-year-old “food stylist” and set decorator for BET’s hit late-night talk show, “The Mo’Nique Show,” was found dead on Wednesday, Jan. 6. Allaben’s body was found in the back of her husband, Dennis Allaben’s pickup truck. Reportedly, Dennis Allaben killed his wife on Sunday, Jan. [...]
With sadness, I report this crazy news. Maureen Allaben, a 43-year-old “food stylist” and set decorator for BET’s hit late-night talk show, “The Mo’Nique Show,” was found dead on Wednesday, Jan. 6.
Allaben’s body was found in the back of her husband, Dennis Allaben’s pickup truck. Reportedly, Dennis Allaben killed his wife on Sunday, Jan. 3, at their Tucker, Ga., home, and then drove the couple’s two children to relatives in Chesterfield, Va., where he told them of the murder. Allaben then drove back to Georgia and turned himself in to the Clayton County Police who retrieved the victim’s body from the bed of Allaben’s pickup truck.
“He just showed up at [Clayton County] police headquarters and said he’d just killed his wife,” said acting Dekalb County Police Chief William O’Brien in a Wednesday interview. Mo’Nique pictured below:
Monica Arnold is starring in her own reality show airing on BET Networks. The singer has been a superstar ever since her debut album Miss Thang.
Monica Arnold is starring in her own reality show airing on BET Networks. The singer has been a superstar ever since her debut album Miss Thang.
