On 02.14.10, In Current Events, by admin
Actor/Singer Tyrese Gibson gives a message of hope to ladies in abusive relationships.
On 02.13.10, In Current Events, Entrepreneur, by Gerard Spinks
And damn it, the Grammys are about to come on!” I asked him, “Sooooo (yes that many O’s)…What’s up?” and he answered, “Ain’t Ish.” Now if you know me, you know that I HATE to hear things like this. My ears tingle and I start to twitch. He remained quiet afterwards and so I followed that up with, “Um, ok.
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
Celebrity Guest Blog post by BET producer Kristen V. Carter of Jazzi Dreamer Entertainment. You can reach Kristen Carter via Twitter.
On Sunday night, an old elementary school friend stopped by my house. When he entered my living room and plopped down on my couch, he didn’t really say much. I thought, “Great, someone that came over just to be over here. And damn it, the Grammys are about to come on!” I asked him, “Sooooo (yes that many O’s)…What’s up?” and he answered, “Ain’t Ish.” Now if you know me, you know that I HATE to hear things like this. My ears tingle and I start to twitch. He remained quiet afterwards and so I followed that up with, “Um, ok.
You seem kinda low energy, what’s going on?” Initially, I was pretty annoyed that someone would come over and bring their low energy with them but then I had to settle down my initial thoughts and just listen. He responded honestly, expressing his confusion about life and where to take his next step. Now, he is and always seemed very book smart. All of my friends are intelligent, but I spend alot of time thinking about my male friends from my childhood because alot of them seem to feel how this one expressed. They don’t know up from down, they don’t know what they wanna do, and they haven’t even pinned down what they LIKE to do. They gasp at the word “hobby.” They don’t even understand the concept. And unfortunately, in this world, this kind of epidemic is not accidental. Our young people are supposed to feel trapped and helpless and I CAN’T STAND IT!
I don’t even wanna get into where we went wrong cause then I’d be writing a thesis, but how can we get a hold to our young people? How can we help them navigate in this world?!?
More and more each day, I realize how different I am. I can’t even fully grasp just how set apart I am but my mother had a vision and did everything in her power to make sure I absorbed what I needed to succeed – and not just cope – with life. And I don’t mean that in a boastful way, but I mean that in a reflective way. Alot of adults had alot to say about my mother while I was growing up, and alot of peers had plenty to say about me being uncool and this and that. But, whoa nelly – how the tides turn, how priorities change, and how reality sets in!!!
We have to think about tomorrow and our futures. We can’t always live for the moment, the cheap thrill. We have to protect our minds and bodies from filth because you never know who’s trying to attach themselves to you. And it’s not always positive. We have to prepare our kids. It’s not cute to just be cute in high school. THAT MEANS NOTHING IN THE REAL WORLD! Who cares what clique you’re in and which girl/guy you are talking to? Or what clothes you have on? Our kids are so caught up in these images, they think things just fly out of the sky…What are our children being taught? What happened to the village? I know that you all are an extension of my village – and I’m so grateful for that! – but who’s reeling in our young people? When did the concept of neighbor become stranger? Did that happen in the 80s or the 90s cause I’m confused.
Success is never by accident. It takes preparation. We want Obama to make change, but we’ve gotta help ourselves as well. I don’t know folks…it’s a sad state of affairs but hopefully you and I can be a part of the positive turn in the lives of young people. Hopefully we can take someone by the hand and help at least one person. And I’m saying this I’m like old…lol…I know I still have alot to learn and experience in life as well, but I just hope that we can mobilize our village cause we’re here. We’re strong people. We’re positive people, maybe in small clusters but we’re here. I’d love to discuss/plan how we can make more of an impact in our community.
On 01.27.10, In Current Events, by Gerard Spinks
Young men and women looking for love in all the wrong places and the wrong ways. Young women want to be “committed” (whatever that word means at 18 – hmph!) while young men are just putting up with it so they can have someone to poke.
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
Young men and women looking for love in all the wrong places and the wrong ways. Young women want to be “committed” (whatever that word means at 18 – hmph!) while young men are just putting up with it so they can have someone to poke. Either the guys got weasled into a relationship or they are just going with the flow and wind up shrugging their shoulders about it. Of course there are always the folks just looking to poke and move, and even the ones who do establish some kind of friendship but they end up confused and heartbroken.
Then, the gentlemen have already been hurt, so now they really don’t give an f and have turned into men just looking to poke. And now, there’s this phenomenon of the liberated woman also looking to poke cause they can’t be bothered. This leaves us with a whole lot of poking and not a lot of emotional attachment. A lot of whining and complaining to our friends, but no “stick and stay” kind of bonds.
Everyone is exhausted! And it doesn’t stop there; it just gets progressively worse! The 30-something single women don’t wanna be single. The 30-something single man has taken themselves off the playing field (until they start dating younger). The 20-something year old woman writes off 20-something year old men because those men haven’t dealt with their feelings enough to know what they are actually feeling. The 20-something year old man plays the field because there’s a 20:1 ratio out here, until he eventually gets tired of that and he wants to actually settle down a bit. But then realizes all the late 20, 30-something single women are itching for marriage and babies and that’s too much. And then everyone’s giving ultimatums and ending up broken up anyway.
Gosh, doesn’t that cycle just suck! Do I even wanna get in that? Where do I fall in the mess? Or will I find myself in a different playing field because I’m observing this before jumping in with my eyes closed? This is a never-ending topic…because we are directly and indirectly affected by societal images. We’re internalizing what our family and friends think, we’re constantly replaying our own life experiences, and then finally, we may or may not get to the point where we can point out what we may hope or desire…and how we get there.
Dog on it, learning new people is supposed to be fun! I thought loving and learning is/was natural! When did expectations – we’re gonna jump from point A to X – become the ultimate kill joy?
So here’s what I’m doing cause I’m trying to avoid that ugly rat race. I don’t claim that whole “independent woman” nonsense because I think that’s a total cop out – if you’re about your business, you don’t need to scream it, just do it! I’m learning to listen to men. Ladies, do not go to your female friends to get advice on guys. What the hell kinda sense does that make? Go to the source! And lastly, I try to avoid doing things that would cause me to wanna put pressure on myself or the guy. And that’s it, I’m done. And even in all this, of course I wanna try new things and be on someone’s arm, blah blah, but not with all that other stuff. Jim-mo-ne Pete, who needs that!? Not I!
Kristen V. Carter can be reached and seen at her Jazzi Dreamer website.
On 01.27.10, In Current Events, by Gerard Spinks
Why is there such a break down between the sexes? And the unsolved mystery – what can we do to get it together?
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
Last night I had a conversation with yet another 30-something year old man who has taken a step back from dating. I am meeting alot of “exhausted” good men who are tired of dealing with women. They love ‘em but for now, they’re leaving ‘em alone! Now, there’s always been a misunderstanding between the male/female minds, but I think it’s safe to say that with the “I’m an independent woman, hear me roar” and the “Man, I’m just gonna do me” attitudes running rampant, no one is trying to deal with the BS anymore.
Why is there such a break down between the sexes? And the unsolved mystery – what can we do to get it together?
So let’s take a step back. One of my ultimate pet peeves is an adult asking a young person (ages 11-16), “So…do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” I HATE THAT! It’s not cute. From my eyes, inquiries like this indirectly pressure kids to start thinking about the opposite sex. And I truly don’t understand what for! Maybe I’m rigid in my thinking but no young person under the age of 19 (and that’s still low) needs to even be considering dealing with anyone on a serious level. How are we gonna effectively communicate with someone when we haven’t even figured ourselves out?!?
We women are taught very early on to think of marriage and babies. From the moment we come into this world, we receive doll babies, little doll houses, we’re holding bottles for our Baby Alive, etc. I was always a Cabbage Patch and Muppets-type kid but for the most part, women receive these kinds of messages throughout our entire lives. I’m not sure what men are thinking about – maybe rough housing, school, sports – but I’m starting to hear that through the messages women get, we’re putting undue pressure on our male counterparts before it’s time. That kind of pressure can be anything from “gimme a kiss” to “be my prom date” to “I wanna have your baby” to “why won’t you marry me.” I’ve seen both men and women lose focus before they even knew what goals and dreams to focus on because they got caught up in relating. Now of course, every situation is different. Again, this is from my perspective.
Fast-forward to now. I am 24 years old. I have liked several people in my day, but haven’t dated seriously. I used to think there was something wrong with that but now I see the distinct advantages of that. I know alot of “caught up” folks, and I know a lot of people who feel they wasted their youth trying to “play house” and have an adult relationship. You know that whole “wifey” thing – and by the way, what is “wifey”?!? I’m not knocking love in any way (I love to love!) BUT I am seriously alarmed by the number of people who feel trapped, hopeless in life and the pursuit of their goals cause they’re under some man or woman.
Kristen V. Carter can be found online at her JazziDreamer Blog.
On 01.17.10, In Current Events, by Gerard Spinks
This is really great and believe it or not, I can absolutely relate to this since I grew up with just my mother who was responsible for raising 3 boys and 1 girl on her own. I never really appreciated my mother as a child and blamed her for a lot of stuff when [...]
This is really great and believe it or not, I can absolutely relate to this since I grew up with just my mother who was responsible for raising 3 boys and 1 girl on her own. I never really appreciated my mother as a child and blamed her for a lot of stuff when she was downright working hard as ever just to stay afloat and keep her family warm, safe, and fed.
My friend, Dee Dee Abdur Rahim, has a great interview with the founder Carley Knobloch. Please register to the site Perfect Moms Finish Last and listen to all of these great interviews with mothers who share their experiences.
This morning I went to Mt. Diablo in Northern California for a mountain hike. This is very important in understanding and dealing with this recession. In the mountains you realize that we are not in control of nature and circumstances.
You quickly see that you need to be mentally, physically, and emotionally strong to deal [...]
This morning I went to Mt. Diablo in Northern California for a mountain hike. This is very important in understanding and dealing with this recession. In the mountains you realize that we are not in control of nature and circumstances.
You quickly see that you need to be mentally, physically, and emotionally strong to deal with big hills and inclines as well as long periods of not seeing anyone on your path. It teaches and reinforces humility and courage to stick it out until you finish.
I encourage you to stay strong in this most difficult of times but know that these hills can be climbed successfully.
ARE YOU A DIVORCED WOMAN HAVING A FLING WITH YOUR EX-HUSBAND? Are you or someone you know is a divorced woman having a secret sexual relationship with her ex-husband? Are you hiding this fling behind your childrens back? If you or someone you know is a divorced woman who started seeing her ex-husband and wants to come clean about their relationship to the rest ofthe family, Please respond only if youre willing to appear on the Tyra Show.
ARE YOU A DIVORCED WOMAN HAVING A FLING WITH YOUR EX-HUSBAND? Are you or someone you know is a divorced woman having a secret sexual relationship with her ex-husband? Are you hiding this fling behind your childrens back? If you or someone you know is a divorced woman who started seeing her ex-husband and wants to come clean about their relationship to the rest ofthe family, Please respond only if youre willing to appear on the Tyra Show.
ARE YOU A DIVORCED MAN OR WOMAN CONSIDERING A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR EX-WIFE OR EX-HUSBAND? Are you or someone you know is a divorced man or woman whos been spending a lot of time with your ex-wife or ex-husband and is considering of rekindling your relationship? Do you find yourself flirting with your ex or asking your children about your exs love life? Do you want to ask your ex-husband or ex-wife on a date and see if the feelings are mutual? If you or someone you know is a divorced and wants to go on a date with their ex-husband or ex-wife, Please respond only if you’re willing to appear on the Tyra Show.
On 12.30.09, In Current Events, by Gerard Spinks
We’ve all had bosses and business associates that are tough to get along with. The corporate landscape is already tough enough and has gotten even tougher in this economy as everyone is fighting to land a job and stop evictions, stop their car from being taken, and keep their kids warm and safe.
We’ve all had bosses and business associates that are tough to get along with. The corporate landscape is already tough enough and has gotten even tougher in this economy as everyone is fighting to land a job and stop evictions, stop their car from being taken, and keep their kids warm and safe.
In these turbulent times, you have to even watch your back at work. Even your boss could be your enemy and you may not even know it. Life was good for an associate of mine. She worked hard and took her job very serious. She would be at work at 6 am and would be there so early that she would turn the lights on.
She stayed late. She worked weekends from home. She sacrificed everything just to do a good job. She was a highly paid and highly trained consultant and worked as a contractor to a publicly traded firm in downtown Atlanta on Peachtree. One day, her boss who hired her and loved her got terminated from the company. Although she got along extremely well with her former boss, she decided to stay on at the firm during the turbulent times. Her former boss warned her that things were changing.
She got a new boss who was hired in from another well known and large firm. Immediately, the new boss decided to take control. The new boss did not know as much as her and did not like this fact. In a corporate change management meeting, the new boss asked everyone in the room what they thought they could do to improve the company. Being passionate, my colleague jumped at the chance to speak up while everyone stayed silent. This would be her death knell. The new boss felt upstaged and felt like my colleague was trying to outshine her.
The new boss’ mission became one thing and one thing only: get my colleague out of the building and out of the job. The new boss didn’t know exactly how to do this but she came up with a very sly plan. She cruised down the hall way pretending to be a friend of my colleague. The new boss talked, joked, laughed and then asked my colleague if she was interested in becoming a full time employee. Because my colleague had seen so much change at the company where people were literally working 16 hour days on a $50,000 per year salary, my colleague said that she would prefer to stay a consultant due to the long work hours and demands on the other employees. She said she loved her job and loved how dynamic it was but didn’t want to work long hours, miss her child, and not get paid.
In a week, she was terminated and stories were being told about her as a slacker, an underachiever, and poor worker. She thought she could trust the new boss by telling her the truth. The truth sent her directly to the unemployment line where she could not get unemployment because she was a 1099 contractor. The truth forced her to have to relocate from Atlanta and find a job in another state, uproot her child, change schools, and lose her home and belongings. Do you think her boss is an enemy and was wrong for terminating her in this manner? Could this have been handled differently?
Do you have similar stories? Please comment and send them to the author.
Republished from my original article on the Atlanta Examiner site.
On 10.25.09, In Entrepreneur, by admin
A real Tsunami or massive flood like the one that hit New Orleans impacts low lying areas first and foremost with complete and total destruction. The same thing holds true for economic tsunamis. The economic kind first rears it’s head and impacts those who are economically and sometimes mentally in low-lying areas.
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A real Tsunami or massive flood like the one that hit New Orleans impacts low lying areas first and foremost with complete and total destruction. The same thing holds true for economic tsunamis. The economic kind first rears it’s head and impacts those who are economically and sometimes mentally in low-lying areas.
[picapp src="d/e/b/8/Antonio_Margarito_v_6b17.jpg?adImageId=6636944&imageId=3697922" width="380" height="265" /]
To survive this, we need to move from economic low levels to medium or higher levels up the economic ladder. We must be focused on getting out of low-lying mental areas that will always be destroyed first. To get out of flat areas, you must first be focused on getting out. This means that you cannot become comfortable with the low level. You must recognize that the low level will always get destroyed and it’s only a matter of time before you sit right in the eye of the storm unable to move out of the path of destruction.
The first step is awareness and a non-acceptance of the condition of being in a flat area. The second step is in knowing full well that an economic tsunami will hit. It is only a matter of time. Do not become complacent with this and feel that everything is ok and that you don’t need to get out there. Get out. You must make a plan to get out and move up the economic ladder and improve the life of you and your family.
Now, I know most people are going to say that this is much easier said than done. This is not true. You can get out and move up the ladder. You must be willing to do whatever it takes to do this though. You must be committed to changing yourself and your life. You must be hyper ready for change and you must be prepared to take action right now to move your life out of your present condition.
Gerard Spinks is the CEO of Spinks Industries; a web content developer and online marketing agency based in Atlanta, GA USA. You can get started with a comprehensive marketing plan at http://www.spinksindustries.com.
