I used to attend Muslim meetings at Your Black Muslim Bakery on San Pablo Avenue in Oakland, CA with Adisa Banjoko and Dr. Bey used to always say “As steel sharpens steel, men sharpen men and vice versa for women.” I agree.
As the world has been literally shocked with the violent death related news of several black men, I thought it prudent to come out and help tell our black men how to stay out of morgues, jails, and prisons.
First of all, when an encounter or beef starts to escalate, we men handle it differently than women. Black women can get in each others face and not let it escalate. We do NOT handle in your face tactics. If someone gets in your face and challenges you, walk away. Do not retaliate. Do not buck up. Do not start screaming and yelling. This helps you stay alive to live another day.
Learn to know when to buck up and when to walk. Most encounters happen because of our male ego and especially as black men. We typically don’t want anyone seeming superior to us so we will act a fool when someone decides to get loud or challenge our manhood. Again, know when to walk away. Not every situation requires you to prove you’re the man. Sometimes being the man is swallowing your pride and walking away. Learn to control your anger or it will completely DOMINATE YOU.
If it appears as though someone is ready to take out a knife and start a battle with you, even if you have a gun, walk away. You don’t need to kill them and take their life. You are setting in motion something that you know nothing about. Walk away even if you feel confident with your .44 Magnum locked and loaded. This does not make you a man and determine your power. You will be headed for a 25 years to life bid in the big house.
Know that violence is not always the answer to every black mans problem. Just because you may be having a hard time and some one crosses you, you do not need to resort to violence. Solve this by learning to come to peace with who you are as a man. Run into the church and get your spirit washed and cleansed. Get healed of anything that makes you feel inferior or like you can’t achieve your dreams.
Find another black man and talk to him about how you feel. Find him at bible study or find him at the church, mosque, masjid, temple, or somewhere in a spiritual or educational environment. He is out there waiting to help.


















