BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
of
JazziDreamer Entertainment
Random KVC fact: I absolutely love 50 Cent.
There’s something endearing about him. Under all that aggression lies a warm, fuzzy bear. I’m convinced.
Actually if you know me well, you’d know my obsession isn’t all that random. I met 50 Cent eight years ago when I interned at BET. He was previewing the video for ‘In Da Club,’ his New Joint of the Day before 106 & Park. He hadn’t seen the video yet so naturally, he was excited. I was seated behind him, snickering at his giddiness until he turned around and smiled at me. He thought I was just as thrilled to see the video and suddenly, I was. The moment his eyes met mine, I stopped and celebrated with him. I caught myself saying, ‘Awww, congratulations.’ At the end of the day, his car passed me as I walked to the train station. He rolled down his window and waved at me. I was shocked he bothered to remember, let alone acknowledge me, and I waved goodnight. He gained a fan that day…accidentally on purpose.
Fast forward eight years later and I own all of 50 Cent’s albums, his photo book ’50 X 50′ and I’ve worked on a 50 Cent project. I’m fascinated by his mystique so I decided to also pick up his book ‘The 50th Law,’ which is co-written by Robert Greene, the author of ‘The 48 Laws of Power.’ The book is right up my alley – an examination of the way we process, analyze, and move through life.
The 50th Law is essentially ‘fear nothing.’ Greene breaks down 50′s experiences and how he was able to move past the negative emotion of fear. Although many of the principles resonate with me, I am shocked that 50 did not even attempt to tackle the #1 downfall of them all – heartbreak (& the aftermath of picking up the pieces without fearing another bout of abandonment). I yelled about that as I read through each section. ‘Uh huh, you’re not going there. I know you’re not touching love. Uh huh, next chapter.’ Yes, he discusses how to properly position yourself in leadership roles amongst groups of people but he doesn’t address one-on-one interaction directly at all…
50 has always presented himself as this unpenetrable monster, someone who shoots before you even get a chance to load your gun. He shields himself from all (love and) harm by isolating himself. Isolating himself and basking in the glory of money, power…and solitude. There is a difference between being along & lonely, but I doubt he really enjoys either one. Through the pain of losing his parents and false friends, he’s learned to accept isolation because it’s not beneficial to open your heart up, only for it to get stomped on. I feel you, 50. I do…but I can’t live like that. I wanna see you with a woman. I wanna see your soft strength. It’s only fair. 50, we all need love and cash can’t hug you back. But I know you know this, and acknowledge this in your journal if not your book.
He says, “Understand: the real secret, the real formula for power in this world, lies in accepting the ugly reality that learning requires a process, and this in turn demands patience and the ability to endure drudge work.” Since 50 refuses to touch on matters of the heart, I will. In my own life, I must accept that intimate relationships demand patience and the ability to endure the trials and tribulations that come with it. That means not giving up ‘the goal’ when you’ve ‘failed.’ That means taking experiences we’d label as good or bad, and make them neutral. They have shown up in our lives to catapult us to the next level, whether we realize it or not. Everyone has an agenda, and you must be clear about your own without losing yourself in trying to win or lose. What is winning or losing anyway? Sometimes things are removed so that you can make room for the real victory. In my life, I must remain in balance – understanding that at any moment, things could change for what appears to be the better or the worse. But in actuality, it’s all for the greatness so I vow to experience fully but not dependently. My joys, my growths, my triumphs are not dependent on someone else’s moves. However affected, I will never move fearfully.
I watch 50 Cent’s new video ‘Do You Think About Me’ at least once a day. Besides the fact that I love the song, there’s a level of unapologetic honesty (ahem, crazy) that’s going on in the clip. Vivica A. Fox is a hot mess; We’ve all seen her crying and talking about 50 in real life so to see her play the role of the crazy ex slashing tires is not beneath her reality. Because of this, I sometimes wish she’d shut up and go cry in bed. You’re the female representative, don’t let em see you sweat!!! I hate that she’s letting it known how hurt she was/is and I especially hate that she has no strategy. But then, I realize damn, she’s (wide) open to love…
Damn it, Vivica. Matters of the heart are never cut and dry. Watch the last :30 of the video…there’s something in the pain of her remembering the good times, the excitement of getting revenge on 50, the regret of acting radically, and finally the vulnerability of just wanting him…aaaah, emotions will get you every time…no wonder she’s a hot mess! Sheesh, maybe 50′s got a point. Why put your hand on the fire when you know it’s gonna burn?! Why go down a dead-end block? The real fight is not the love itself, but the fear of going down that road (alone)…No matter what happens, love is stronger than fear if you allow it to flow…take a chance…who’s gonna be the representative? 
What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
