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On 02.02.10, In Current Events, Entrepreneur, by Gerard Spinks
As she continued talking, I could see tears forming as she vented about her inability to pursue her passion and share her writing with others. I was very touched by this moment, and asked if I could interrupt her thought for a brief second. I thanked her for first of all, sharing her deepest thoughts and fears with me.
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
Guest Post by Kristen Carter, producer at BET and screen/scriptwriter who is presently writing, producing, and directing her debut film SlipKnot in New York, New York.
Last week I spoke at two colleges about “life after graduation.” I love presenting at schools because I vividly remember being in their seats, raising my hand to ask questions and to connect with said speaker, only to reflect on their answers afterwards and understand that no one has “the answer.” And yes, I still inquire, hoping to somehow break the code and get hit upside the head every time with the same conclusion. Our answers lie within…
Many students keep in touch with me but one young lady from last week’s sessions really stood out. She approached me after the presentation, very meek and softspoken. I asked her to speak up so that I could hear what she was saying. She explained how much she loves to write but how terrified she is to show her work. As she continued talking, I could see tears forming as she vented about her inability to pursue her passion and share her writing with others. I was very touched by this moment, and asked if I could interrupt her thought for a brief second. I thanked her for first of all, sharing her deepest thoughts and fears with me. I was truly truly humbled to have been selected to hear her…and secondly, I congratulated her for making the first step of vocalizing her desires. No matter how much she shook with fear, she was still standing there and telling her story! Something triggered her to say what she had to say, no matter how softly – SHE SAID IT! I offered my own trials and tribulations briefly, and asked her to stay in touch with me, continue writing, and send along some writing whenever the Spirit moves her. I won’t comment on it, I just want her to send something. The act of presenting herself, myself, yourself is really all that matters. The belief that what we have to say means something, and that we have the power to uplift ourselves and others in the process.
Life is funny…because I saw myself in her although I was giving her advice. It’s sooo amazing how that happens. It’s like one side of yourself talking to the other side of yourself OUTSIDE of yourself. Dog on it, God is great!!! I explained briefly that in ways, I experience the same anxiety but you know who creates that anxiety – we do. And you know who creates the freedom we all seem to long for – we do. I’ve been reading alot of “Metaphysical” books lately and understanding how important it is to hone in on what we want. And even if we are not sure, instead of stating “I don’t know what I want,” flip it and say to yourself “I want to know what I want out of life, out of myself.”
So here goes a few of my long list of desires: I want to know my emotional self. I want to be able to trust. I want to know my father. I want to get over past hurts. I want to experience love in all of its forms. I want to be around people who inspire me. I want to honor my creative voice.
I have always known that what you think about you bring about, but it goes deeper than that WHEN we are ready. We’re catalysts for our own growth because when we think, speak, and act, those circumstances are drawn to us. So within a week (cause this stuff moves FAAASSST), I forced myself to apply to a number of fellowships, I have accepted my father’s daily phone calls (a new occurance, yes) and I am working toward clearing out my anger and disappointment, and I ran into a high school “friendemy” that I haven’t seen or spoken to in six years. This time last year I wasn’t ready to do any of that because my mindset was focused on all the things I could not achieve. “Well I’m over this but…oohhh, if I see her in the street…or you know, I just don’t think I’ll ever get to know my father…or what if my screenplay’s not good enough?”
Where do we learn to doubt ourselves and give negativity power in the first place? We came here with such infinite power, and then we learned to fear greatness. I’m currently reading “Conversations with God” and this passage really struck me the other night -
“Every single free choice you ever undertake arises out of one of the only two possible thoughts there are: a thought of love or a thought of fear. Fear is the energy which contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms. Love is the energy that expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals. Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, love allows us to stand naked. Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, love gives all that we have away. Fear holds close, love holds dear. Fear grasps, love lets go. Fear rankles, love soothes, Fear attacks, love amends.”
So I have to ask myself – do I have more fear or love in my heart? Do I aspire to more love? Is my heart open enough to love? And will I stop at nothing to love?
Those are the questions, dear friends…life and love is there for us to experience when we are ready. We’re just not looking or feeling or thinking freely enough. Hmmm, everyday is an awesome adventure…
The Little Engine That Could and Will,
Kristen Victoria
On 01.28.10, In Current Events, by admin
Actually if you know me well, you’d know my obsession isn’t all that random. I met 50 Cent eight years ago when I interned at BET. He was previewing the video for ‘In Da Club,’ his New Joint of the Day before 106 & Park.
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
Guest Post by Kristen V. Carter of JazziDreamer Entertainment
Random KVC fact: I absolutely love 50 Cent.
There’s something endearing about him. Under all that aggression lies a warm, fuzzy bear. I’m convinced.
Actually if you know me well, you’d know my obsession isn’t all that random. I met 50 Cent eight years ago when I interned at BET. He was previewing the video for ‘In Da Club,’ his New Joint of the Day before 106 & Park. He hadn’t seen the video yet so naturally, he was excited. I was seated behind him, snickering at his giddiness until he turned around and smiled at me. He thought I was just as thrilled to see the video and suddenly, I was. The moment his eyes met mine, I stopped and celebrated with him. I caught myself saying, ‘Awww, congratulations.’ At the end of the day, his car passed me as I walked to the train station. He rolled down his window and waved at me. I was shocked he bothered to remember, let alone acknowledge me, and I waved goodnight. He gained a fan that day…accidentally on purpose.
Fast forward eight years later and I own all of 50 Cent’s albums, his photo book ’50 X 50′ and I’ve worked on a 50 Cent project. I’m fascinated by his mystique so I decided to also pick up his book ‘The 50th Law,’ which is co-written by Robert Greene, the author of ‘The 48 Laws of Power.’ The book is right up my alley – an examination of the way we process, analyze, and move through life.
The 50th Law is essentially ‘fear nothing.’ Greene breaks down 50′s experiences and how he was able to move past the negative emotion of fear. Although many of the principles resonate with me, I am shocked that 50 did not even attempt to tackle the #1 downfall of them all – heartbreak (& the aftermath of picking up the pieces without fearing another bout of abandonment). I yelled about that as I read through each section. ‘Uh huh, you’re not going there. I know you’re not touching love. Uh huh, next chapter.’ Yes, he discusses how to properly position yourself in leadership roles amongst groups of people but he doesn’t address one-on-one interaction directly at all…
50 has always presented himself as this unpenetrable monster, someone who shoots before you even get a chance to load your gun. He shields himself from all (love and) harm by isolating himself. Isolating himself and basking in the glory of money, power…and solitude. There is a difference between being along & lonely, but I doubt he really enjoys either one. Through the pain of losing his parents and false friends, he’s learned to accept isolation because it’s not beneficial to open your heart up, only for it to get stomped on. I feel you, 50. I do…but I can’t live like that. I wanna see you with a woman. I wanna see your soft strength. It’s only fair. 50, we all need love and cash can’t hug you back. But I know you know this, and acknowledge this in your journal if not your book.
He says, “Understand: the real secret, the real formula for power in this world, lies in accepting the ugly reality that learning requires a process, and this in turn demands patience and the ability to endure drudge work.” Since 50 refuses to touch on matters of the heart, I will. In my own life, I must accept that intimate relationships demand patience and the ability to endure the trials and tribulations that come with it. That means not giving up ‘the goal’ when you’ve ‘failed.’ That means taking experiences we’d label as good or bad, and make them neutral. They have shown up in our lives to catapult us to the next level, whether we realize it or not. Everyone has an agenda, and you must be clear about your own without losing yourself in trying to win or lose. What is winning or losing anyway? Sometimes things are removed so that you can make room for the real victory. In my life, I must remain in balance – understanding that at any moment, things could change for what appears to be the better or the worse. But in actuality, it’s all for the greatness so I vow to experience fully but not dependently. My joys, my growths, my triumphs are not dependent on someone else’s moves. However affected, I will never move fearfully.
I watch 50 Cent’s new video ‘Do You Think About Me’ at least once a day. Besides the fact that I love the song, there’s a level of unapologetic honesty (ahem, crazy) that’s going on in the clip. Vivica A. Fox is a hot mess; We’ve all seen her crying and talking about 50 in real life so to see her play the role of the crazy ex slashing tires is not beneath her reality. Because of this, I sometimes wish she’d shut up and go cry in bed. You’re the female representative, don’t let em see you sweat!!! I hate that she’s letting it known how hurt she was/is and I especially hate that she has no strategy. But then, I realize damn, she’s (wide) open to love…
Damn it, Vivica. Matters of the heart are never cut and dry. Watch the last :30 of the video…there’s something in the pain of her remembering the good times, the excitement of getting revenge on 50, the regret of acting radically, and finally the vulnerability of just wanting him…aaaah, emotions will get you every time…no wonder she’s a hot mess! Sheesh, maybe 50′s got a point. Why put your hand on the fire when you know it’s gonna burn?! Why go down a dead-end block? The real fight is not the love itself, but the fear of going down that road (alone)…No matter what happens, love is stronger than fear if you allow it to flow…take a chance…who’s gonna be the representative? 
What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
On 12.04.09, In Current Events, by Gerard Spinks
JazziDreamer Entertainment is pleased the present the CASTING CALL for the feature film Sellout written by Kristen Carter and Screenplay Reading of TV pilot Slipknot created and co-written by La Shell Wooten. Ripley-Grier Studios, 520 8th Avenue, New York, NY Audition Date 1: December 10 – 7:30-9:30pm Audition Date 2: December 12 – 1:00-3:00pm [...]
JazziDreamer Entertainment is pleased the present the CASTING CALL for the feature film Sellout written by Kristen Carter and Screenplay Reading of TV pilot Slipknot created and co-written by La Shell Wooten.
Ripley-Grier Studios, 520 8th Avenue, New York, NY
Audition Date 1: December 10 – 7:30-9:30pm
Audition Date 2: December 12 – 1:00-3:00pm
‘Sellout’ is a dramedy revolving around a bourgeois Harvard graduate who is forced to return to his hometown of Harlem, New York after the death of his mother. When he moves back home, he must balance life with his insecure, ditzy fiancee’ and unmotivated, marijuana-addicted brother while adjusting to his new job as a public school teacher.
‘Slipknot’ is a family drama that engages the emotion and comedy of real life when a couple separate after 12 years of marriage. The audience follows as this blended family tries, and sometimes fails, to balance what remains of their love with new relationships, disgruntled children, and meddlesome relatives.
AUDITIONS ARE BY APPOINTMENT ONLY.
