On 04.03.10, In Current Events, by admin
#entrepreneur Host Gerard Spinks goes Beyond the Bling on Blog Talk Radio with BET Networks and MTV Reality TV Writer Kristen V. Carter.
On 03.29.10, In Current Events, by Gerard Spinks
For those who don’t know, I am hard at work on BET’s The Deal, a hip-hop entertainment show that airs at 3am AKA the graveyard shift. I am very proud of our show because we’re not just playing what’s hot; we are showcasing many aspects of hip-hop and shining a light on mixtape artists, producers, executives, entrepreneurs, and even some culture. Clutch the pearls.
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
Kristen V. Carter is the owner and CEO of JazziDreamer Entertainment and producer/writer for BET Networks. Please follow her on Twitter. This is her celebrity blog post and WE absolutely love everything Kristen V. Carter does! Thanks Kris.
“Happy Spring Everyone,
Thank God for some sunshine. I don’t care how long it lasts; warmer temperatures are here for now and that’s all that matters. For those who don’t know, I am hard at work on BET’s The Deal, a hip-hop entertainment show that airs at 3am AKA the graveyard shift. I am very proud of our show because we’re not just playing what’s hot; we are showcasing many aspects of hip-hop and shining a light on mixtape artists, producers, executives, entrepreneurs, and even some culture. Clutch the pearls. (If you can, please DVR the show and spread the word.)
Last week, we hooked up with Snoop Dogg so that he could co-host the show. Prior to our tape day, I was a little nervous. I knew I’d have to prep him for his reads, etc and I’m always a little bit weary of ‘high-profile’ talent. They are usually pretty detached, moody, and they like to show off by singing and dancing all over the place while their team laughs at all of their jokes. But my producer quickly told me that Uncle Snoop is a ball of fun and will do anything that I ask of him.
Although reassured, I did get a little worried when Snoop showed up hours late and went straight into his dressing room to smoke. That dude is a straight chimney! I mean firrraaaaah. I thought maybe he’d be very mellow & kinda grumpy (I don’t know a thing about smoking or smokers), but when he came out of his room, he was awesome and so sweet. He danced around, he joked around, he even messed up and said ‘wait am I supposed to start off, baby girl’? Also, he didn’t have enough clothing to change for three shoots so we thought he was going to stay in the same outfit for the second shot of the day. When we asked him, he turned around and said, ‘I can’t look like yesterday’ and ran off to get a new jacket.
Besides getting a mean contact and smelling like weed on the way home, the experience was great and I realized why Snoop has been a mainstay for so long. He connects with everyone and makes people feel comfortable without being flashy, arrogant, or showy. And you know it’s a good shoot when my staff (who are comprised of people who are ‘unimpressed by fame’) all got up to take pics with Uncle Snoop. By this point, I was holding in coughs because of the smoke but I’ll do it for tha Doggfather.
Good times…
except for the fact that the train conductor started sniffing when he went by me to take my ticket! 
”
On 03.26.10, In Current Events, by Gerard Spinks
It’s no secret that ideas, concepts, & dialogue float through my head all day every day. We can all have these visions but without follow through, it means nothing. One of my partners always says ‘just get one thing done,’ and now I am finally beginning to understand what she means
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
Celebrity Blog post by BET Producer and CEO of JazziDreamer Entertainment, Kristen Carter. Kristen V. Carter is a producer of BET The Deal and other reality shows on both BET and VH1 Networks.
We’ve got a lot of catching up to do. When the elders said time flies after 25, they were not lying. So with that said, I’m gonna try to bring everyone up to speed real quick. The last month seems like a big blur but honestly, there were some major accomplishments in 1st quarter ’10. After a year or so of trying to figure out what to do with our works, my writing partner and I shot the first few episodes of our scripted web programs. We decided to turn my feature film and her pilot tv series into content that you can jump to & click on while you’re bored at work. Chea! So I’ll definitely let you know when our work is up and running online just for you! We are excited for the possibilities and of course, the continued learning lessons and growth.
It’s funny to think about the ebbs & flows that my creative team has encountered and will continue to experience as creative beings. We’ve gotten things in motion, doubted, had schedule conflicts, gone back to the drawing board, had a productive meeting, cancelled shoots, started over, and then all of a sudden…something just clicked. It wasn’t overnight; but I realized what it was. We made a decision that we were going to shoot something – anything!! – in the first quarter of 2010. That decision really put things in motion because we were determined to take these characters off the page and stand them right in front of our faces!
It’s no secret that ideas, concepts, & dialogue float through my head all day every day. We can all have these visions but without follow through, it means nothing. One of my partners always says ‘just get one thing done,’ and now I am finally beginning to understand what she means. KRISTEN, GET ONE THING DONE AT A TIME. JUST DO IT! We must stack our bricks before we can stand on a sturdy wall. We must be able to handle thousands of dollars before managing a million. We must produce one project before handling a slate of productions! There are steps to this thing and no matter how badly I try to jump to some far off land where I do and get everything my heart desires, I must be able to handle what’s in my midst.
I must be in the moment, enjoying the process, the beautiful struggle of learning more of who I am & observing what it is I do and don’t want in my energy field. And quite simply, making a decision on what I want and setting the universe in motion to achieve whatever goal I have set forth to accomplish.
I watched this Will Smith video on Monday…and I was just blown away. I need to step my game up. We, as a community, need to step our games up. Here’s to new dreams and decisions. Keep pondering and using your ability to choose what you want. The strongest thing we can do, besides loving one another, is make a decision to live our best lives!
On 02.28.10, In Current Events, by Gerard Spinks
This morning I hit a milestone. I listened to Eric Roberson. Yes. For the first time in months. This time last year, I had just discovered his music and purchased all of his albums but it wasn’t long before he was torn away from me. Or I gave him away. We had to break up…well because…other things had broken up. After crying to him on more than a few occasions, I couldn’t bear to listen to any of his songs.
Kristen V. Carter is a BET segment producer, screen writer/scriptwriter and owner of Jazzi Dreamer Entertainment.
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
I’m most honest with myself when I write, which is why I’m constantly scribbling. I generally write four Chronicles a week in my head but sit down to pen one, if any at all. My emotions have been topsy turvy within the last seven days. Thankfully, I’ve had creativity to distract me – with full-time work; independent projects stealing most of the minutes in my day, it doesn’t leave too much idle time for me to ponder about moments past. And thank the good Lord for that! However, in between takes, there’s this faint voice telling me that I need to sit down and meditate or at least write. So here goes…
This morning I hit a milestone. I listened to Eric Roberson. Yes. For the first time in months. This time last year, I had just discovered his music and purchased all of his albums but it wasn’t long before he was torn away from me. Or I gave him away. We had to break up…well because…other things had broken up. After crying to him on more than a few occasions, I couldn’t bear to listen to any of his songs.
Don’t you hate when that happens?! When great music becomes tainted by experience? You mistakenly create a soundtrack that leaves your record collection all screwed up. It’s almost like robbery; a situation goes South and then all of a sudden your favorite songs become kill joys, stained by imperfection.
All music has some sort of stamp on it. We associate people, places, periods in our lives with melody. One of my all-time favorite songs ‘Septembro’ was introduced to me sixteen years ago in dance class, and I always reflect on those times in rehearsal and how much that song touched me as a 9 year old. I remember associating Mandy Moore’s ‘I Wanna Be With You’; Beenie Man’s ‘Girls Dem Sugar’ to a high school crush. And Anthony Anderson’s ‘Charlene’ to an awful kiss in college. LOL But I digress…
Here recently, I went through another transition and found a few songs caught in the middle. Of course, I do reflect on moments…but I decided to fight back and continue singing my song. I am not letting these tunes go up in flames over one moment in my life! It’s just not gonna happen. These songs are too special to me. This is MY playlist and I’m not gonna allow anything to come between me and my music! My song selections aren’t gonna be messed up just because of a messed up situation.
I didn’t even realize I had changed my way of thinking and ‘put my headphones on’ until Eric Roberson showed up on my iPod. I paused for a second and then thought, ‘Wow, when’s the last time I heard this song?’ I chuckled because I remembered right away – there I was, sitting in my bed, a hot, bubblin mess wiping my eyes with the back of my hand like a little kid who just got pushed by the class bully. Waaa waaa…ya’ll know the growing pains…
Eric came back to me and my listening this morning was effortless. I guess it was to show me that I could literally face the music, face my past, and create a new present and future with the music I love. Although I’m telling this story for dramatic effect (lol), I really had shut his music out of my catalog and just shook my head with regret. But tonight I am currently reacquainting myself to his albums and am happy that I have him back. He won’t be walking out of the door with the next dj such and such. Whether it’s peaches & herb all day long or not, no one is taking my song. End of story.
On 02.14.10, In Current Events, black famous people, by Gerard Spinks
Ahh, good morning. I hope everyone’s enjoying the long All-Star/Boo-Lovin Observance weekend. I partake in the All-Star portion of this but ya know, love’s in the air no matter what day it is.
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
Kristen V. Carter is a BET producer and screenwriter. She is also owner of Jazzi Dreamer Entertainment. Kristen can be reached directly via Twitter. Please engage with her and follow her to learn inside game of film, tv, and music.
Ahh, good morning. I hope everyone’s enjoying the long All-Star/Boo-Lovin Observance weekend. I partake in the All-Star portion of this but ya know, love’s in the air no matter what day it is. Last night I watched Love Jones for the 8723rd time in my life, even though it felt like the first. It’s funny how certain messages hit home although you’ve been surrounded by them forever…you don’t really catch the truth in anything until you’re truly ready for it.
So this morning, I journaled to myself for the first time in a few weeks. I write for various reasons everyday but I finally allowed that quiet time to be completely free-flowing and nonjudgemental of my thoughts. ‘Self’ has been whispering that I needed to shut up & write, because I recently unleashed my ego and allowed her to run her mouth like wildfire & show her ugly lil’ head! I haven’t done that in quite a while so it was definitely time to regroup and process my greatness of spirit versus my weakness of flesh. It’s funny how I let go of my strength at what felt like a weak moment where I was unsure of myself. (That’s backwards I know. Why do we do that to ourselves?)
My overall goal this year is to be more intuitive and decisive, yet I’ve done a poor job of staying aligned with this goal recently. It’s easy to say, do, and act our best when we feel at our best personally & professionally but when we question ourselves, sometimes the bottom falls out OR we pull it from under our own feet and blame other things. Sometimes we cry over spilled milk when it’s been sour and should have been mopped up already. At this point, all I can think about is the quintessential phrase ‘keep it movin son’ but what happens when you just don’t wanna move? You get stuck in a rut (probably all by your damn self lol)…so I have to refocus and realize – I’m just living out my lessons.
I am at my greatest with my pen. I feel love & connection in that. I feel the boundlessness of who I am and who I was created to be. I feel the ‘heart to heart’ connection that I sometimes wish I felt in ‘face to face’ interaction. This is the place I call home.
So why do I allow myself to feel like a stranger at times? Because in my attempt to be ‘right,’ I lose my righteousness. In my attempt to prove my point, I step away from things that deserve my greatest energy & focus. It’s funny how when I experience discord, I can feel the physical & spiritual split. (I’ve actually always sensed this, but never quite in these terms.) The part of me that’s offended versus the part of me that’s merely observing life and taking notes. The part of me that harbors fears of lonliness versus the part of me that knows I’m never alone…ever.
So it’s a new year again. My goal is for two to remain one. When I’m feeling all razzle dazzle frazzled, I must take it to the Source as opposed to fighting my own fears. And even after I press Send and go about my business for the day, I’ll have to come back to this quiet place and remind myself that I don’t ever have to do this thing called life on my own if I just listen…
…now that’s love.
Kristen V. Carter
On 02.14.10, In Current Events, by Gerard Spinks
“I’m a self-proclaimed late bloomer with hundreds of stories about crushes and people I loved to like. Some of my tales are actually too embarassing to write but here are a few of my fav truths that don’t make me blush (as much) anymore. ”
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
From the Mind of BET Producer Kristen V. Carter of Jazzi Dreamer Entertainment. You can reach out to her on Twitter and follow her for all of her gems.
“I’m a self-proclaimed late bloomer with hundreds of stories about crushes and people I loved to like. Some of my tales are actually too embarassing to write but here are a few of my fav truths that don’t make me blush (as much) anymore.
4 – My grandmother and my childhood crush have the same initials. I begged my Nana for her gold ring that had her initials in them for months. I never really told her why, and I don’t remember the excuse I gave her. But finally she let me ‘have’ the ring and I wore it proudly. Finally, during class, my crush grabbed my hand and stared at the ring. He said lovingly (because of course I thought he liked me too lol), ‘what do those initials stand for?’ I think I batted my eyes and said something like ‘you know what they stand for’ and ran off. (Now, I’m not sure if this freaked him out but it sure as hell would freak me out for a 9 year old friend to have a KC ring on his finger. LOL)
3 – One of my high school crushes was a family friend. He was the only boy allowed in my room. To this day, I think he knew full well that I had a crush on him but I was terribly shy. I remember him asking me for a massage and my hands literally trembled at the thought of touching his skin. He would come over and we’d play games, just very innocent. One day he fell asleep on my bed and on me and I literally could not breathe. Not because he was crushing me, but because HE WAS LAYING ON ME. Aaaaah! After about 15 minutes, he jumped up all of a sudden as if he was startled. I said, ‘what happened?’ His reply – ‘Ummm…I’m getting too comfortable.’ He got himself together. I asked him if he was ok and he said yes. He said he’d call me later and then he went through the front door. My mom was downstairs reading the paper so when I closed the door, she looked up at me. My face was beat red. She said, ‘Sweetheart, what happened?’ I said, ‘I don’t know’ and burst into tears…
(My reaction reading this now: Poor baby! lol)
2 – I have a college friend who I thought was a divine one coming back to Earth. (Real talk. I think Michael Jackson was one of them as well.) He and I were friends, but I was inspired and intrigued and the whole bit. He’s a lyricist so one night after hanging out, he decided to walk me back to my room. I was giggling and completely amused by whatever he was saying, and mentioned that I wanted to learn how to rap. He started breaking down his process and that I should think about things that rhyme. We went through a few little words that rhyme – time, dime, lime, etc. I thought for a second and we did a mini-cipher and I spit. It was great. I fell in love that night. ‘Rap to me some more.’ LOL
1 – When I was 16, I participated in a recruitment day for my scholarship program. It was held at my church and we were responsible for interviewing new candidates for the program. An admissions officer from a New England school came to the event. I think all the women at my church did the ‘turn.’ So the day goes by and the day comes to an end. Everyone’s wrapping up and when he gets outside, his car is gone from the church parking lot. Apparently he had valuables in the backseat and someone broke in. All of my deaconesses look around like, ‘I’m sorry for you but I gotta get home.’ My mom turns and says, ‘Well, you can come to our house and use the phone.’ I THOUGHT I WOULD DIE! I vividly remember skating around my kitchen. There’s a man in the house!!! And he’s 24!!!We stayed up that night and he told us about his experience at a prestigious college. I probably exhaled 5 times right in front of him. Long story short, he did stay on the couch and traveled back to New England the next day. I was pretty silent for most of the day once we dropped him off at the train station. Finally, I asked – ‘Mommy, when am I gonna have a guy like that?’ My mom replied, ‘He will come when you are ready…but you’ve got plenty of time for that, sweetheart.’ I love my mommy…
So funny how you meet people…I’ll never forget that.
Ok, I’m hungry. Time to grab some grub with my best friend and the fam. Enjoy your day!!!
Love & all that other…”
KRIS
On 02.13.10, In Current Events, Entrepreneur, by Gerard Spinks
And damn it, the Grammys are about to come on!” I asked him, “Sooooo (yes that many O’s)…What’s up?” and he answered, “Ain’t Ish.” Now if you know me, you know that I HATE to hear things like this. My ears tingle and I start to twitch. He remained quiet afterwards and so I followed that up with, “Um, ok.
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
Celebrity Guest Blog post by BET producer Kristen V. Carter of Jazzi Dreamer Entertainment. You can reach Kristen Carter via Twitter.
On Sunday night, an old elementary school friend stopped by my house. When he entered my living room and plopped down on my couch, he didn’t really say much. I thought, “Great, someone that came over just to be over here. And damn it, the Grammys are about to come on!” I asked him, “Sooooo (yes that many O’s)…What’s up?” and he answered, “Ain’t Ish.” Now if you know me, you know that I HATE to hear things like this. My ears tingle and I start to twitch. He remained quiet afterwards and so I followed that up with, “Um, ok.
You seem kinda low energy, what’s going on?” Initially, I was pretty annoyed that someone would come over and bring their low energy with them but then I had to settle down my initial thoughts and just listen. He responded honestly, expressing his confusion about life and where to take his next step. Now, he is and always seemed very book smart. All of my friends are intelligent, but I spend alot of time thinking about my male friends from my childhood because alot of them seem to feel how this one expressed. They don’t know up from down, they don’t know what they wanna do, and they haven’t even pinned down what they LIKE to do. They gasp at the word “hobby.” They don’t even understand the concept. And unfortunately, in this world, this kind of epidemic is not accidental. Our young people are supposed to feel trapped and helpless and I CAN’T STAND IT!
I don’t even wanna get into where we went wrong cause then I’d be writing a thesis, but how can we get a hold to our young people? How can we help them navigate in this world?!?
More and more each day, I realize how different I am. I can’t even fully grasp just how set apart I am but my mother had a vision and did everything in her power to make sure I absorbed what I needed to succeed – and not just cope – with life. And I don’t mean that in a boastful way, but I mean that in a reflective way. Alot of adults had alot to say about my mother while I was growing up, and alot of peers had plenty to say about me being uncool and this and that. But, whoa nelly – how the tides turn, how priorities change, and how reality sets in!!!
We have to think about tomorrow and our futures. We can’t always live for the moment, the cheap thrill. We have to protect our minds and bodies from filth because you never know who’s trying to attach themselves to you. And it’s not always positive. We have to prepare our kids. It’s not cute to just be cute in high school. THAT MEANS NOTHING IN THE REAL WORLD! Who cares what clique you’re in and which girl/guy you are talking to? Or what clothes you have on? Our kids are so caught up in these images, they think things just fly out of the sky…What are our children being taught? What happened to the village? I know that you all are an extension of my village – and I’m so grateful for that! – but who’s reeling in our young people? When did the concept of neighbor become stranger? Did that happen in the 80s or the 90s cause I’m confused.
Success is never by accident. It takes preparation. We want Obama to make change, but we’ve gotta help ourselves as well. I don’t know folks…it’s a sad state of affairs but hopefully you and I can be a part of the positive turn in the lives of young people. Hopefully we can take someone by the hand and help at least one person. And I’m saying this I’m like old…lol…I know I still have alot to learn and experience in life as well, but I just hope that we can mobilize our village cause we’re here. We’re strong people. We’re positive people, maybe in small clusters but we’re here. I’d love to discuss/plan how we can make more of an impact in our community.
On 02.04.10, In Current Events, black famous people, by Gerard Spinks
Recently, a friend of mine came to me about a dating question. She wanted to know if the person she was digging really likes her, based on a few scenarios presented. I don’t like commenting on people’s situations because Lawd knows I have gotten plenty of sound advice and have not taken it until going through the fire myself.
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
Superstar Guest Post by BET Producer and Screen Writer Kristen V. Carter of JazziDreamer Entertainment. Kristen Carter is a show segment writer and producer for BET, VH1, and MTV Networks.
It’s officially ‘back to school’ time. Five-Star commercials are running like wild fire and kids are pushing passed me in the supermarket for notebooks. I don’t care what gadgets these new fangled kids are getting, us 80s babies got the best and brightest hook ups of them all. I will never forget my mother getting a swarm of Chucky Cheese pencils, only for me to give out each and every one of them before the week was out. By Friday, I was known as the Indian giver because I had to ask for them back. (Sidebar: Why is that called “Indian giver?” I don’t believe Indians gave things and then asked for them back!?! Please let me know!)
Anyway – as Jay-Z says, “You can pay for school but you can’t buy class” and he’s absolutely right. We all know that common sense is the most valuable smarts of them all, but it’s funny how we just don’t wanna pay attention.
Recently, a friend of mine came to me about a dating question. She wanted to know if the person she was digging really likes her, based on a few scenarios presented. I don’t like commenting on people’s situations because Lawd knows I have gotten plenty of sound advice and have not taken it until going through the fire myself. I carefully broke down some of the reasons why I felt the person was not all that interested, most specifically he wasn’t showing initiative. She continued to say, “But he hits me up…but he talks to me for X amount of time.” NO, NO my sister. Not the same thing. Anyone can talk, but who is backing it up!?! Look, don’t listen! PLEASE…I’m telling you…Check yourself before you wreck yourself and wind up swimming in the pool of lovelike by yo’self!!!
As I sat and reflected on my own experiences, I just thought about all the stupid moves I have made, thinking that someone would like me more if I “worked” harder for their attention. What kind of assanine thought is that?!?! That sounds so ridiculous, but that’s really how I was maneuvering. Maybe if I show up…maybe if I just talk about what I want…aww, it doesn’t hurt to reach out first…again…again…and again. It doesn’t hurt them cause they don’t care but it most certainly puts a damper on your parade if you’re hoping and wishing for something that’s not there.
But it’s ok, we all put ourselves through emotional agony. And what’s funny, we know it all along. If we listen closely to our inner voice, we’ll breathe and remain calm for a few more moments so we can catch ourselves…but usually, we’re so hung up those thoughts of tranquility don’t seep through in the least.
t’s so interesting how much thought and weight we put on things that don’t feel great. If it doesn’t feel good, if we’re not laughing, loving, and learning, just cut it off. End of story! Don’t even waste your time. Our time is too precious and too valuable to just waste on contemplation. (This is really easy to say now that I’m not crying my eyes out. LOL But I think I’ve finally gotten it. Maybe.)
Now if someone IS showing you interest and you are interested back, please just have fun with them and learn what it feels like to be appreciated. I’m not really sure how or why we got tricked into just letting our mind jump down the aisle, but let’s dial it back and just enjoy our present.
What a difference 5 years makes when it comes to life lessons and just age old personal experience. Goodness gracious great northern beans…LOL.
Ok, that’s it for me for now!! Let’s use our common sense. If it doesn’t fit, we must acquit! Size 7 shoes on Size 9 feet never fit, no matter how hard you squeeze. Try another shoe on or get crazy corns and an irritated heel. HA. Gotta get back to writing.
Love,
Kris
JazziDreamer Entertainment Film Casting Call for Sellout and Slipknot films in NYC
On 01.28.10, In Current Events, by Gerard Spinks
I used to hate girls. I thought they were just good for stealing your man, and then laughing in your face. I know, I know…a bit dramatic but very true. Throughout my adolescence, I had my fair share of girl groups.
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
Guest blog post by screen/script writer Kristen V. Carter CEO of Jazzi Entertainment and BET show producer.
I used to hate girls. I thought they were just good for stealing your man, and then laughing in your face. I know, I know…a bit dramatic but very true. Throughout my adolescence, I had my fair share of girl groups. All of the cliques started off like sisterhood societies – sleepovers, secret handshakes, loud negroidian chants, and complete with official names and symbols! But of course as kids change, arguments fly, and hormones rage, those relationships fizzled out faster than…yes, faster than that!
By the time I was 20, I decided “to hell with female friends.” There were a few cool people that I remained friends with through the years but for the most part, I was pretty ashamed of my gender’s catiness and disloyalty. I didn’t understand why most of my friend’s friendships ended because of dudes that are oh so fine in high school but will dry up by the time we graduate from college. Yes, this does happen alot! So I started collecting male friends. Typically, I like(d) being the only female in a group of dudes because they’re generally pretty simple and easy to get along with. I don’t mean simple like dunce simple. I just mean pretty basic in cutting to the chase in regards to feelings, situations, etc. (I’m not sure how basic they are now that I’m a few years wiser but I digress…)
I despised girl groups so much that I avoided them and made fun of them. (I know – real mature, Kris!) Even if the people were cool, I’d always sorta tilt my face to the side and say, “There’s at least one shady B-I in this group…now who is she?!?” But then a strange phenomenon started to occur – as my friend circle started to grow post-college, I not only gained more male friends but I just started meeting really cool people in general. Men and women just not about the okie-doke, just wanting to have fun and be folks. Now, as I think about it in retrospect, I became way more open to sharing who I am as opposed to being on guard that someone’s gonna hurt my feelings or as I said earlier, take my man and run…LOL
A few days ago I bumped into a family member of one of my former friends. For some reason, she still hasn’t gotten over the fact that her niece and I are not friends. But I guess I can understand…leaving a friend behind is like breaking up with the whole family. No, it is breaking up with the whole family so when anyone sees you, they just give you this kinda pouty look like, “Awww, why didn’t you make it work? I’m still mad you aren’t friends.” In previous years, I’d always respond, “Well, tough!” (lol) but there’s no need to be that way anymore. People truly come into your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime and if they are meant to stay or make their way back full circle, they will.
The closer I have become to my friends and cousins, the more I recognize just how important it is to have brotherly and sisterly bonds. Specifically, to be able to laugh at yourself, vent and have sisters give you insight on more mature and womanly situation. Ha. Seriously! So, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to all the women who have allowed me to burn their ears recently. I believe you know who you are! Thank you for being sisters to me.
Guys, you know I got you on Men’s Day…I seem to have something long winded to say every time that holiday comes around.
On 01.27.10, In Current Events, by Gerard Spinks
Why is there such a break down between the sexes? And the unsolved mystery – what can we do to get it together?
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
Last night I had a conversation with yet another 30-something year old man who has taken a step back from dating. I am meeting alot of “exhausted” good men who are tired of dealing with women. They love ‘em but for now, they’re leaving ‘em alone! Now, there’s always been a misunderstanding between the male/female minds, but I think it’s safe to say that with the “I’m an independent woman, hear me roar” and the “Man, I’m just gonna do me” attitudes running rampant, no one is trying to deal with the BS anymore.
Why is there such a break down between the sexes? And the unsolved mystery – what can we do to get it together?
So let’s take a step back. One of my ultimate pet peeves is an adult asking a young person (ages 11-16), “So…do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” I HATE THAT! It’s not cute. From my eyes, inquiries like this indirectly pressure kids to start thinking about the opposite sex. And I truly don’t understand what for! Maybe I’m rigid in my thinking but no young person under the age of 19 (and that’s still low) needs to even be considering dealing with anyone on a serious level. How are we gonna effectively communicate with someone when we haven’t even figured ourselves out?!?
We women are taught very early on to think of marriage and babies. From the moment we come into this world, we receive doll babies, little doll houses, we’re holding bottles for our Baby Alive, etc. I was always a Cabbage Patch and Muppets-type kid but for the most part, women receive these kinds of messages throughout our entire lives. I’m not sure what men are thinking about – maybe rough housing, school, sports – but I’m starting to hear that through the messages women get, we’re putting undue pressure on our male counterparts before it’s time. That kind of pressure can be anything from “gimme a kiss” to “be my prom date” to “I wanna have your baby” to “why won’t you marry me.” I’ve seen both men and women lose focus before they even knew what goals and dreams to focus on because they got caught up in relating. Now of course, every situation is different. Again, this is from my perspective.
Fast-forward to now. I am 24 years old. I have liked several people in my day, but haven’t dated seriously. I used to think there was something wrong with that but now I see the distinct advantages of that. I know alot of “caught up” folks, and I know a lot of people who feel they wasted their youth trying to “play house” and have an adult relationship. You know that whole “wifey” thing – and by the way, what is “wifey”?!? I’m not knocking love in any way (I love to love!) BUT I am seriously alarmed by the number of people who feel trapped, hopeless in life and the pursuit of their goals cause they’re under some man or woman.
Kristen V. Carter can be found online at her JazziDreamer Blog.
