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Have men been challenged so much – by police, by society, by our past, by increased gender equality – that they are just deciding to take a backseat?
Guest Blog Post by screen/script writer and BET producer Kristen V. Carter of Jazzi Dreamer Entertainment.
BET Producer Kristen V. Carter
I received a lot of email replies, texts, and phone calls to last week’s Mixed Messages post where I discussed a few of the issues I’m witnessing in the dating circuit. And one thing’s clear – people are seeking answers or just plain bowing out of the playing field. I’m so thrilled that this is becoming an open dialogue because it’s long overdue! I get the sense that men and women have taken relating back to the high school dance days, when the boys were standing on one side of the gym talking to each other while the girls are on the other side twirling their hair. They don’t know where to start so they just quit trying! Well, it’s time to get back on the dance floor, the court, whatever you wanna call it and start making some progression.
Shoot, if the women out here are too proud to say it, I’ll say it. We need you to be leaders! We need you (MEN) to come home! And while I’m screaming this, I’m sure my male counterparts would say something of equal weight in regards to women.
So, when did we get so lost? When did having an intact family unit become such a far-fetched idea? Let’s even take it down a peg – When did complementing each other become so damn hard?!? I have this conversation ALL the time, but it’s seriously time to take a look at ourselves and not only look at the problem, but start working our way to a solution. I’ve heard murmurings that male and female roles have gotten all confused with the Feminist movement; I’ve also heard that families used to bond over the societal struggle but are now fighting each other; and this is the most common and most simple one of them all – men and women just feel like they could do bad or really great all by themselves.
I’m not sure how to feel because I have no desire to compete with a man. However, I know the miscommunication that we’re experiencing as a people is not by accident. I will never see America through a (Black) man’s eyes but I acknowledge that there are extreme differences. Our society is set up to lead our young men astray at an early age so there’s not even a chance for them. And while they’re being distracted, somehow our women have started to climb educational and professional ladders and are now waving down at what had been their high school/college sweethearts who made one bad move and changed their paths forever.
But what about the men who have been able to climb the “straight & narrow” and navigate the American landslide? The last time I checked, they are getting tired of us women too. What is the cause of that? I don’t know, I just don’t know…(Men, if you want to write back, please do!)
Have men been challenged so much – by police, by society, by our past, by increased gender equality – that they are just deciding to take a backseat? Or are our women running them out of the house instead of welcoming them with open arms? Have women gotten so sick of leaning on a man for support (emotional, financial, social, whatever) that they’ve decided to just think about “ME”? Or are men giving us a reason to just close the door cause we’d be better off entertaining ourselves solo than trying to consider him? Lastly, am I just naïve or are trifling people just strong arming good men and women and making it bad for the good folk?
This issue is so complex and there are so many levels to this. It’s even more than learning to leave the corporate world at our doors. We’re talking at each other, not with each other. But did we EVER talk to each other? Or did we just decide to quit dealing with each other?
Sigh. There’s still hope. But it’s time to get shaking now, cause I’m about tired of hearing the same ol blues from men and women. If you’re not having fun learning him/her, there’s no point. Men, I appreciate you and if you forget that us women want you around (hence why we’re kicking and screaming in the first place), please listen to Jill Scott’s We Need You.
ARE YOU A DIVORCED WOMAN HAVING A FLING WITH YOUR EX-HUSBAND? Are you or someone you know is a divorced woman having a secret sexual relationship with her ex-husband? Are you hiding this fling behind your childrens back? If you or someone you know is a divorced woman who started seeing her ex-husband and wants to come clean about their relationship to the rest ofthe family, Please respond only if youre willing to appear on the Tyra Show.
ARE YOU A DIVORCED WOMAN HAVING A FLING WITH YOUR EX-HUSBAND? Are you or someone you know is a divorced woman having a secret sexual relationship with her ex-husband? Are you hiding this fling behind your childrens back? If you or someone you know is a divorced woman who started seeing her ex-husband and wants to come clean about their relationship to the rest ofthe family, Please respond only if youre willing to appear on the Tyra Show.
ARE YOU A DIVORCED MAN OR WOMAN CONSIDERING A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR EX-WIFE OR EX-HUSBAND? Are you or someone you know is a divorced man or woman whos been spending a lot of time with your ex-wife or ex-husband and is considering of rekindling your relationship? Do you find yourself flirting with your ex or asking your children about your exs love life? Do you want to ask your ex-husband or ex-wife on a date and see if the feelings are mutual? If you or someone you know is a divorced and wants to go on a date with their ex-husband or ex-wife, Please respond only if you’re willing to appear on the Tyra Show.
There is very little that we can control in this day and time except one thing: our minds and our bodies. We may not be able to control hiring managers or whether we get unemployment but what we can control is how we think, how we prepare for tomorrow, and our bodies. [...]
There is very little that we can control in this day and time except one thing: our minds and our bodies. We may not be able to control hiring managers or whether we get unemployment but what we can control is how we think, how we prepare for tomorrow, and our bodies.
We can control being in shape and working out. Nobody can dictate that and no one can take that away from you. If you feel like everything is out of control, I encourage you to workout and at least be healthy during these difficult times. If you can’t get up and go to a job because no one is hiring you, it’s ok. You can at least get up and workout and control your self-image and your outer image.
That’s the greatest thing you can do in difficult times. Control your mind and your body and achieve inner peace and happiness until things change outwardly. And even when it does change, keep it up and stay in shape.
Fitness should never be something that you feel that you are too young or too old to do. Many of us make huge excuses why we should not work out.
I encourage everyone to just remove the excuses and start today on fitness. The funny thing is that you don’t need to [...]
Fitness should never be something that you feel that you are too young or too old to do. Many of us make huge excuses why we should not work out.
I encourage everyone to just remove the excuses and start today on fitness. The funny thing is that you don’t need to pay a gym to be fit. Fitness can be really cheap and affordable and seriously keep you away from doctors for most minor ailments.
Young people should workout, middle aged people should workout, and older people should workout. America needs to get moving and stop focusing on harnessing someone to a desk and never moving the body. The body is a fine tuned machine meant to actually move around. Move it, today!
I gauge my result of being a great father on one indicator: love of my child. Like her daddy, my daughter is a writer. She wrote the following letter to me. This is priceless and I wouldn’t trade it for anything or any amount of money especially since I never had [...]
I gauge my result of being a great father on one indicator: love of my child. Like her daddy, my daughter is a writer. She wrote the following letter to me. This is priceless and I wouldn’t trade it for anything or any amount of money especially since I never had a father.
Here’s the letter:
“To Daddy: I love my daddy so much. I missed him when he was in California. I loooooovvvve my daddy! When he came back from California, I was so happy that I saw him. I bet he was happy when he saw me too. We were both surprised! I just can’t get it ‘I love my daddy out of my head’! I can’t stop thinking about it.”
The letter then had a picture of my daughter and me going to work with talk bubbles saying I love you from me and her. This is what I measure myself on and what I use as a gauge for success. Nothing less, nothing more. The love of my child is plenty!
Gerard Spinks is the CEO of Spinks Industries; an original content producer and online marketing agency based in Atlanta, GA USA.
America is inundated with advertisements on food that will kill you. As a nation, we are the global world leader and authority on obesity, overweight earthlings, and plain old fat stores on the body. On top of this, we then have companies that get rich off of then selling instant cures to this [...]
America is inundated with advertisements on food that will kill you. As a nation, we are the global world leader and authority on obesity, overweight earthlings, and plain old fat stores on the body. On top of this, we then have companies that get rich off of then selling instant cures to this weight problem.
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You have to first understand that your body is a very complex machine that God has made for us. It knows exactly what to do because our bodies are directly connected to our minds. The body knows when to store fat and it knows exactly how to get rid of fat when it is working. There is no magic pill that will make fat go away because the body doesn’t respond like this.
You can’t just raise your metabolism or your heart rate by taking something. I thoroughly recommend something simple to reduce weight. The first thing to do is immediately stop eating processed foods. Processed foods are the pre-cooked frozen meals at the grocery store that people have convinced us that we need because we simply don’t have time to cook anything.
You don’t even need super excellent nutrition to get the weight down. You don’t need to munch on salads everyday. You need to remove processed foods and start baking or grilling your food.
The next thing you need to do is walk every single day without fail. America has become so dependent on the automobile that we never, ever walk anywhere. People were thinner in the pre-industrial and pre-automobile age because we relied on bicycles and walking to go anywhere. I recommend walking every single day for at least 4 miles or 1.5 to 2 hours each day.
You will be amazed at how much weight you start to drop just by doing that alone. The combination of removing processed foods and walking 2-4 miles each day will make you start dropping weight in 30 days. Don’t make any excuses. Just walk. Get a good pair of running or walking shoes so that the walk is comfortable for you. If you don’t like walking or hiking, simply get on a bicycle and ride your bike each day.
The key to reducing any amount of weight anywhere on your body lies in doing the task every single day of your life so that it becomes a habit. Good habits are where breakthroughs and success live.
Gerard Spinks is the CEO of Spinks Industries; a web content developer and online marketing agency based in Atlanta, GA USA. You can get started with a comprehensive marketing plan at http://www.spinksindustries.com.
Being black in America has proven to be very dangerous and deadly in 2009. High school kids have been killed, athletes have been jailed, and rappers are being put behind bars at a faster pace than ever before.
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Here’s what to do to stay alive and survive in America. Education, [...]
Being black in America has proven to be very dangerous and deadly in 2009. High school kids have been killed, athletes have been jailed, and rappers are being put behind bars at a faster pace than ever before.
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Here’s what to do to stay alive and survive in America. Education, education, education. I cannot say it any clearer. Your opportunities increase exponentially with education. I’m talking about finishing high school with a good grade point average, going on to college and graduating with a Bachelor’s of Science type of degree, and heading on to business school.
No more excuses. There are all types of programs and grants and loans available to get an education today. President Obama has made sure of that. It’s now in the hands of black youth to take action and get educated. This is a state of emergency and must be implemented immediately.
Anyone who lives in the ‘hood should move. I suggest moving as far away from the ghetto as possible as this increases your life expectancy greatly. The ghetto is filled with strife, anger, despair, and destitution. Time for change and time to leave that behind. It’s time for a new way of life and a new glory. Get out of the ‘hood mentality, get educated, and no more excuses. You owe yourself glory and greatness.
Gerard Spinks is the CEO of Spinks Industries; a web content developer and online marketing agency based in Atlanta, GA USA. You can get started with a comprehensive marketing plan at http://www.spinksindustries.com.
It doesn’t matter what they think. This was proven on P. Diddy’s Making His Band that I watched via Comcast two nights ago.
It doesn’t matter what they think. This was proven on P. Diddy’s Making His Band that I watched via Comcast two nights ago. Someone who is on the show has all of those so called things against them and they have the most talent of all background singers. I was so impressed that Diddy literally walked over to her and asked her directly what her sexual orientation was. He wanted to hear it for himself. It was very moving that Diddy, Andre Harrell, and Dallas Austin thought she had extreme talent.
The Spinks
This proves one simple truth: it’s not always what you look like. God has created you with a special super talent. Find it. Grow it. Become it. And don’t be afraid of the criticism.
Being successful as an entrepreneur truly depends upon how you measure success. Most human being measure success by sales. But sales is not the only indication of entrepreneurial success. I measure success by action. If you make small action every single day you are successful. As long as you’re moving [...]
Being successful as an entrepreneur truly depends upon how you measure success. Most human being measure success by sales. But sales is not the only indication of entrepreneurial success. I measure success by action. If you make small action every single day you are successful. As long as you’re moving toward your goal in small increments, you are highly successful.
Being a Success by Spinks Industries & Gerard Spinks
Success should be measured in small chunks. Not huge super sized American standards. Make it easy on yourself. Achieve big things by acting small and taking small actions that you can control. It makes it much easier on your mind and gives you the confidence to keep moving forward. Go small! It’s the best way to achieve big results. Small, steady, calculated growth is the new mantra in American business.
Gerard Spinks is the CEO of Spinks Industries; a web content producer and online marketing agency based in Atlanta, GA USA.
